Nothing Is Funnier  Than The Truth

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the
back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
   people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and
a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk
to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process
so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box
and a draft dodger live in the White House.